Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Military Quotes

  • "If the enemy is in range, so are you." -Infantry Journal
  • "It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.." -U.S. Air Force Manual
  • "Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." -General MacArthur
  • "You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." -U.S. Marine Corps Gunnery Sgt.
  • "Tracers work both ways." -U.S.. Army Ordnance
  • "Five second fuses only last three seconds." -Infantry Journal
  • "Any ship can be a minesweeper.. Once."
  • "Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." -Unknown Marine Recruit
  • Clean it, if it's Dirty. Oil it, if it Squeaks. But: Don't Screw with it, if it Works! -USAF Electronic Technician
  • "If you see a bomb technician running, keep up with him." -USAF - Ammo Troop
  • "Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death , I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
  • "You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." -test pilot Paul F. Crickmore
  • Latitude is Where We are Lost, & Longitude is How Long We've been Lost There! -USAF Navi-guesser (Navigator)
  • "The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
  • "If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- however, it's probably unsafe in any case .."
  • "When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
  • "Even with ammunition, the USAF is just another expensive flying club ." -Unknown disgruntled Grunt
  • " Airspeed, altitude and brains........Two out of three are needed to successfully complete the flight."
  • "Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
  • "Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
  • "The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." -Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
  • "There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." -Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
  • "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
  • "You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes FULL Power to taxi to the terminal."
  • As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft , having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives; the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don 't know, I just got here myself!"

83 comments:

Anonymous said...

First............!!!!!!!!!!

Innomen said...

First.

Innomen said...

First.

Innomen said...

Stupid blogger comment engine. It puts the notification that the comment has been sent in tiny green print at the top, while acting like you didn't type in the word verification.

So this is like my 5th comment, and my first 4 were "first" and they are probably going to be 15 down from the top.

This is why I use wordpress.

M said...

All those were coined by very brave individuals...thanks, guys.

Mitsun said...

nice... :)

Anonymous said...

First

dvdkroft said...

Thanks for the quotes! I like them.

@Innomen: All people who claim to be first should be banned from any blog, forum or whatever, for life. It is so $#%$#% lame.

Anonymous said...

So who gives a rip that you are first OR that you can't figure out anything but wordpress? How does any of that relate to humorous "Military Quotes?"

Anonymous said...

Good, yet most if not all copied from call of duty modern warfare. Hack

Skol said...

First

Skol said...

First

Coolest guy ever said...

First!!

Anonymous said...

First.

Anonymous said...

#cough cough# Modern warfare #cough cough#

SilentSeraph said...

Funny, the only thing posted about the US Navy was the minesweeper one... But I'd give that "if you see an ordnanceman running try and keep up" thing to the Navy too, not the fucking lame ass Air Force... Shove that damn "36 flight hours this month" sign up your ass and get some real pilots and maintainers. GO FUCKIN NAVY!

AE2 (AW) C. Langford (Sep.)

Anonymous said...

Innomen - The correct way to deal with the situation is to just not blog or post online in the first place. Don't use wordpress. Don't use Blogger. Just go away and stop being a douchebag, if you can.

Anyone who says "first" deserves a punch in the face.

Greg said...

Wow Innomen, you really look stupid now. Maybe just learned to stop being a douche with the "First" crap. Now you can graduate to the next level of commenting douchiness: Accuse any picture or text of being "shopped".

And good touch about why you would use wordpress. By the way, wordpress still doesn't make you less of an D-bag.

Anonymous said...

lmao..thanks

Anonymous said...

Cool quotes.... and pretty true !! Funny.... yes... to us non-military.... but also some are "life-saving" if you are in the "middle of it" !! - Hermitbiker -

Anonymous said...

I was the 20th person first!

Anonymous said...

First!

Anonymous said...

First!

Anonymous said...

First place loser is more fitting.. Get a life...

That one dude said...

LAST!

Anonymous said...

LAST

Anonymous said...

..and I wonder sometimes why the human race is doomed to it's own destruction.

The guy was just being honest yet you all shot him down, sad, very sad.

Anonymous said...

Greg is an angry elf.

HotNYC News. said...

I like it.

verylast said...

Last.

Anonymous said...

First!

Anonymous said...

FIRST!!!!

Anonymous said...

next....

Anonymous said...

SIMPLY LEMONADE

ALSO FIRST!

Anonymous said...

Retreat? hell!...we just got here....U.S.M.C.

Anonymous said...

Previous!

Anonymous said...

FIRST!

Anonymous said...

THIRTY FOURTH!!

Dan said...

-"But I'd give that "if you see an ordnanceman running try and keep up" thing to the Navy too, not the fucking lame ass Air Force... Shove that damn "36 flight hours this month" sign up your ass and get some real pilots and maintainers. GO FUCKIN NAVY!"-

Yeah, pussy airmen! ... that is untill the PJs break frontlines just to come pick your sorry ass up from some serious shit. Show some respect.

Anonymous said...

39th?

Anonymous said...

Sergeant Major... What is the protocol if I step on a landmine?

Well, lieutenant... One usually jumps about 150 feet and scatters himself over a wide area!

... unknown ... quoted by Maj. Bill Loveday, US Army retired.

Thanks to all service men and women for all you do!

Dan said...

No sir, I train with them, among others, out here at Fairchild AFB.

A lot of my respect goes to the PJs... They usually take a much heavier beating than the rest of us.

Anonymous said...

First!

SilentSeraph said...

Respect? I served 5 years in the Navy aboard two aircraft carriers, first on the USS Kitty Hawk in VFA-102, the second on USS Roosevelt in VFA-87... Watched the Air Force pat themselves on the back for a month of flight hours that we flew in a day... If a fuckin enemy combatant gets to me on the ship, he deserves to kill my ass... But until then, I'll be out there helping put warheads on foreheads... So how bout some respect?

Anonymous said...

'The beatings will continue until morale improves.'
See on a US military t-shirt while holidaying in Antigua...

Dan said...

I'm not saying the flyboys aren't d-bags, but you're clumping us specialists in with them, and thats a pretty deep insult.

You spent 5 years as a fighter? I find it hard to beleive. What did you do with your sixth year?

Also, the 36 flight hours in one day? A 24 hour day, really?

Anonymous said...

@ innomen:

"So this is like my 5th comment, and my first 4 were "first" and they are probably going to be 15 down from the top.

This is why I use wordpress."

actually this is why you have no friends.

seprico said...

ok i gotta say air force, navy,and ground troops none is better than the other..they are all required to make things run smooth..and for the pussies who keep doing the stupid fucking "first" thing only do it because they never get first in anything else they are all faggots and deserve to rot in liberachies ass but also they need to learn that first only matters when there's money involved so since there's no prize for commenting on something first......FUCK OFF you "first" faggots

Anonymous said...

Bollox to First and all it's kin...... Knobheads!

acquamx said...

First!!

Anonymous said...

1. the 50th comment is most definitely not first
2. nobody cares anyway
3. this is not copied from modern warfare. if anything modern warfare copied from the originals of this.
4. these are funny. thanks for posting them.

Anonymous said...

Last im the 52 person who commented on this!!!!!

sir jorge said...

wow, those are some great quotes

Anonymous said...

First!

Anonymous said...

Just remember, the last thing you want to hear a combat engineer say is "oops"

buttsecks said...

First

Anonymous said...

First!

Anonymous said...

funny quotes, always felt like the armed forces made good use of Murphy's Law

Anonymous said...

first

Anonymous said...

also first

ohad said...

Great stuff!

Anonymous said...

First.

Skol said...

I have two comments on here saying First, I have posted neither of them.
Anyway, only the American armed forces can argue about which service is the best, UK armed forces are competitive at sports but are one and the same regarding their military integrity. All this insulting is so childish and un- Military, or Naval if you have to.

Phillip said...

First

Innomen said...

First ;>

Anonymous said...

second

Anonymous said...

innomen you retard

g_train said...

I say, old chap! Her Majesty's Royal Navy is far superior to the Royal Air Force. Why, just the other day we had a spot of war and the RAF just sat there taking the piss.
Onward HMRN!

Leftenant Phillip K. Bullocks

Paul OFlaherty said...

Some of those are awesome although a few are fairly obviously made up.Good laugh though :)

Anonymous said...

First?

Xamuel said...

Absolutely brilliant :)

Anonymous said...

A fair proportion of these are from other countries military. Yet they are all attributed to the US, go figure

Your Face iIn A Punch Is Better Than A Punch In Your Face said...

First !!

AUUU, Don't punch me in the face.

Anonymous said...

balls deep first

Anonymous said...

"Funny, the only thing posted about the US Navy was the minesweeper one... But I'd give that "if you see an ordnanceman running try and keep up" thing to the Navy too, not the fucking lame ass Air Force... Shove that damn "36 flight hours this month" sign up your ass and get some real pilots and maintainers. GO FUCKIN NAVY!"

Hell yeah!!!! totally agree, Navy all the way!

Anonymous said...

military jokes?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rXPrfnU3G0&feature=player_embedded

a like that kind of people ;-)

fish said...

A great look inside the mind of the military.

Firefightergirl324 said...

Proud to be an American <3 Thank you all who have served and protected us!

NotFirst and who Cares? said...

First?
A race to be first and the petty comments that follow by these "adults" is, in its own trivial way, pathetic.
BTW...Excellent military quotes!

dasparadoxon said...

Please go first, I cover you.

Anonymous said...

HEIL HITLER! LAST! BRING THE KAISER BACK!!!

Anonymous said...

this is photoshopped, I can tell by the shadows

Anonymous said...

the fourth one is from a TV show called the Unit... nice try though

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