2 fleas from Saskatchewan

Two fleas from Saskatchewan had an agreement to meet every winter in Yuma for a vacation.

Last year when one flea gets to Yuma, he's all blue, shivering and shaking, nearly froze to death.
The other flea asks him, 'What happened to you?'

The first flea says, 'I rode down here from Regina, Saskatchewan in the moustache of a guy on a Harley.'

The other flea responds saying, 'That's the worst way to travel. Try what I do. Go to the Plains Hotel Bar in Regina. Have a few drinks. While you are there, look for a nice girl, crawl up her leg and nestle into her pubic hair where it's warm and cozy.

The first flea thanks the second flea and says he will give it a try next winter.

A year goes by..... When the first flea shows up in Yuma, he is all blue and shivering and shaking again. Nearly froze to death.

The second flea says, 'Didn't you try what I told you?'

'Yes,' says the first flea, 'I did exactly as you said ... I went to the Plains bar. I had a few drinks. Finally, this nice young chick came in. So I crawled right up next to her warm cozy pu**y. It was so nice and warm that I fell asleep immediately. But when I woke up, I was back in the moustache of the guy on the Harley.

Interested ways to fix

Oh My God

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.

The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him, "Your Grace."

The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence."

Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, "Well?"

So she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard-bodied dancer. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh my God!"

Insurance Salesman

Peter walks into an insurance office and asks for a job.

"We don't need anyone" they replied.

"You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone, anytime, anything!"

"Well we have two prospects that No One has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job."

He was gone about two hours, and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000.00 and another for $50,000.00.

"How in the world did you do that ?" they asked.

"I told you I'm the worlds best salesman, I can sell anyone, anywhere, anytime!"

"Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000.00 the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples."

Peter was gone about 6 hours and they were fixing to close when he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down, and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine, and sets them on the desk and says, "Here's Mr. George's and this one is Mr. Robert's."

"That's good" they said, "but what's in those two buckets?"

"Well, I passed by the Holiday Inn and they were having a teachers convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!"

How To Handle Junk Mail

When you get those pre-approved letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to 2nd mortgages and junk like that, most of them come with postage paid return envelopes, right?

Well, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little envelopes! Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Or a pizza coupon to Citibank. If you didn’t get anything else that day, then just send them their application back! Just make sure your name isn’t on anything you send them. Heck, you can send it back empty if you want to just to keep ‘em guessing!

Let’s turn this into a chain letter! Eventually, the banks and credit card companies will begin getting all their crap back in the mail. Let’s let them know what it’s like to get junk mail, and best of all… THEY are paying for it! Twice!

Let’s help keep our postal service busy since they say e-mail is cutting into their business, and that’s why they need to increase postage again!

A Politician's True Character

An important politician was seen moving around with a film actress for a couple of months, with whom he finally decided to plunge into matrimony.

But being cautious, he hired a private detective for the job of looking into her past and finding out if she had any previous affairs with any men.

After a few days, the politician at last received his detective's report, which went like this:

"Sir, this lady has a spotless reputation. Her past is clear, her family and friends all come from a very respectable background. No one has anything against her character. But yes, according to my sources, for the last couple of months she's been frequently seen flirting with a politician with a dubious reputation."

Boxing Champ & Olympic Champ

A man went to temple.

He left notice "don't' steal my shoes -Boxing champion"

when he return, shoes missing there was a notice "don't' try to catch me -Olympic champion"