1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?
10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a “wise man” and ” wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
6. Why does “slow down” and “slow up” mean the same thing?
7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
8. Why do “tug” boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game” when we are already there?
10. Why are they called “stands” when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called “after dark” when it really is “after light”?
12. Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected” make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a “wise man” and ” wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do “overlook” and “oversee” mean opposite things?
15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
27. Christmas – What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
24 comments:
Why is it, when a ship carries something it's called cargo and when a car carries something it's called a shipment?
If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
Why do we drive a parkway and park in a driveway?
15. Why is “phonics” not spelled the way it sounds?
Phonics comes from a greek word that means voice which starts with the letter φ. So all words that derive from it are spelled this way. (p.e. telephone)similar examples - the words phobia, photography etc
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Bra used to be a one piece garment, and panties used to be a two piece garment
25. Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
it does if you leave the bottle open. glue needs air to stick
many of the questions can be answered.
Why do people constantly try to pass off rehashed George Carlin, Sephen Wright, and Fucking Gallagher bits from thirty years ago as original humor?
Thanks for ripping off George Carlin Phred.
no 2 can be answered: its a second hand cause it tells the seconds
2. Because it counts seconds
9. It's a past-time song
10. Because the 'stands' are whats standing
16. WORK SUCKS!
21. It's called ignorance
24. Would you wipe your face with your ass again and again?
7: I say "fat chance" with a heavy tone of sarcasm and "slim chance" is just a statement.
Why is it that when two planes almost collide, it is referred to as a near miss. If they nearly missed each other they would have collided.
Its called the second hand because it represents... wait for it... seconds!
1. Yes.
2. It counts seconds.
3. Common sense.
4. Various essays.
5. Most likely derived from golfing slang, used when a particular stroke was bad.
6. "Slow down" means to decrease speed, but "slow up" means to increase slowness.
7. "Fat chances" refer to ratios, while "slim chances" refer to percentages.
8. That is the way they are built.
9. It's traditional.
10. "Stands" stand for us.
11. It is after it has become dark.
12. No, it just makes you more vigilant.
13. "Wise man" is an old term of respect, while "wise guy" is newer, sarcastic, and slang.
14. Looking and seeing are two different things.
15. It is, if you study phonics.
16. Work isn't terrific.
17. If the world was a stage, everyone would be acting.
18. Lingerie appeals to lust, not love.
19. No, the cross-eyes probably contribute to the dyslexia.
20. Because that is how the english language first classified pants: plural. In other languages, it is singular.
21. You don't know the batteries are dead. That is why you continue to push.
22. Suitcases were invented first, and were meant to hold anything.
23. Because it describes a complex concept.
24. To keep them from becoming rough from soap scum and skin oil.
25. Glue doesn't typically bond to plastics.
26. Because a TV set requires several components.
27. None.
Old TVs (and radios) were at one time defined by the vacuum tubes that were used in their construction. A better "set" of tubes meant better reception, better picture, better sound, etc. People came to calling them TV sets because enthusiasts would talk about how this "set" of tubes was better or different than another one.
Ahhh, stop trying to be smart asses. The questions are meant ironically, using wordplay in many of them to be humorous. Stop whining and being all analytical and just lighten up :)
why does smartass answer questions that are obviously jokes...
Tug boats used to tow the barges, tug them out from the docks....pushing is weird...
These are simple examples of the flaws in the English language.
Why does 'smartass' mean the same as 'dumbass'?
Hello. If god is all powerful can he create a rock so heavy, that he himself cannot lift? Thanks for reading.
7. Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same thing?
I can answer to that.
When you're saying Fat Chance, you are being ironic.
When you are saying Slim Chance, you are not being ironic. Haha noobs
and if he cant lift it, that means hes not all powerful...
Its impossible to be almighty idd
Why is choppping a tree down not the opposit of chopping a tree up? ;)
Who made God? If god is the beginning and the end! Please answer...
It is amazing to see the number of people here that know no humor. Your lives must be very sad, indeed.
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